Stinging Reminders

I may have mentioned once or twice that I'm kind of... annoyed... appalled... frustrated... saddened... whatever you might call it by a "friend" who I told about my pregnancy when I thought everything was ok and after I mentioned my loss I never heard anything from her again.

She had her baby the day after my D&C so I can see why maybe she was a little busy. But still. It's been OVER 4 months and this is the first contact I've had from her since that time.

I shouldn't let myself hold on to grudges or be sad... but she just texted me for the first time since the loss. She wants to stay at our house this weekend for a wedding.

I'm obviously more than ok with having people stay at my house but it was just the shock that I was getting a text from her at all. I scrolled through the old texts between us and they were all "isn't it fun to be pregnant" and "happy mothers day to you"... all rainbows and ponies.

It stings to read those messages which I wrote during such a time of happiness and joy. It honestly crushes my heart.

I hate sounding so dramatic but that's really what it feels like for me right now.

I'm just thanking my lucky stars that she didn't ask if her baby could stay with us too. And also, I'm going to be away from my house the morning that they'll be arriving so I hopefully won't have to see the baby that compared to me will look like a doll vs. my incessant crying.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

ETA: Her baby was, in her words, an "accident"