Putting my life on hold

Well - I guess the downside of wanting to be pregnant and still keeping it a secret is majorly putting my life on hold.  Just a moment ago, I was about to write on a friend's facebook wall asking if she wanted to go to a cubs game with me and the husband.  I thought about clicking "post" for a minute but then thought that no matter when it is, it's going to interfere with a pregnancy.  It would be fine if it were a last minute thing and I was sure I wasn't pregnant... because who wants to go to a baseball game and not enjoy a beer and hotdog? 

Well - a part of me is kind of disappointed thinking that I can't do things like that on a whim anymore.  But I have to get over that.  My "on a whim" ideas are few and far between, whereas my BABY NOW feelings are constant.

For instance, someone brought in their grandchild to work yesterday.  A little baby.  I had to stay away.  I knew I would turn into a gushy mushy mess and just want to hold the little guy.  Of course, I feel like it's inappropriate to ask a stranger to hold their baby.  You need to get to know people before you ask! 

Regardless - it was a hard time staying away and hearing those adorable cries.  It wasn't the shrieking out in agony cries that babies will sometimes make - but the cooing and adorable noises that just make you melt.

Negative

So you can see the instructions, the lighter 2nd line does not mean that I've had an LH surge.  I'm not sure why they tease me with the 2 lines because it's torture.  This one here comes really close to being as dark but that doesn't mean anything!! 

Not that I'm trying right now anyways, I just need reassurance that my body is working properly.  *SIGH*