When You're Ready

Part of the reason why me and the hubs are TTA is because we, especially me, weren't ready to try again. But some big things have changed in our lives since the loss and of course the biggest thing was the purchase of our house!

Mortgage, sweet mortgage.

The sad part about this house is that we made the offer while I was still pregnant... or at least I thought I was. We had just seen the ultrasound the day before and we were excited to have a house to bring our baby into instead of our apartment. While I'm not sad that we made the decision to buy, the fact remains that we were expecting to grow our family. That's kind of what this house represented for a long time after the loss.

I'm moving past the loss now and thinking of the house more as a home, and the future home of our children. I think about things like which room will the nursery be, and how we will reorganize our space when the time comes. I look forward to when that time comes and hope that we do have a healthy pregnancy that does result in the permanent growth of our family... and someone else to fill those rooms.

In a stroke of luck, we moved a few doors down from a family that has 4 children... all under the age of NINE years old. They are 1, 3, 5, and 9. The little girl especially has a hold of my heart already. She is so stinking cute. Her name is Lucy, which is a name I had my eye on for a girl until the hubs vetoed it. Lucille to be more precise. She is the 5 year old adorable girl who I hope to one day have of my own. Until then, I look forward to getting to know her and her brothers and by being the fun, nice neighbor they've always dreamed of. Here's a few cute things they've said so far:

"You're a really nice neighbor"
"I used to call this Carter's house [the boy who lived here before us] but now I'll call it Elizabeth's house!"
"I want you to be my babysitter!"

Being around kids just reminds me about how ready I am to be a mother. I am so ready to try again.

This cycle is still deemed TTA though because this future Mom has to have a "last hurrah" of drinking/fun before TTC. Obviously I'm referring to going to Jersey Shore in 17 days (WHAT THE WHAT only 17 days left?!)

I also have plans to run in a fun 5k called Run For Your Lives in St. Louis on Aug 18th.

These things will keep my mind off of TTC for at least 2-3 more weeks, but then...