THE PEAK READING! After 8 days of HIGH. I was so excited to see this I about cried. This is go time, this is for real! Now I'm just hoping that my lil ovary releases the healthiest egg and the healthiest sperm of the BDing we've been doing meet up and decide to form a healthy baby. FX.
Although to put things into perspective - I had a dream last night that I had leukemia and was undergoing chemo! It was a very realistic feeling dream and I just remember in the back of my mind thinking that even though I still wanted a baby it was more important that my healthy remained number 1. Although that's a little extreme of circumstance - it's important to remember that mental health when TTCAL is a very real thing that's fragile and delicate.
I think I put a lot of pressure on myself this cycle. I know I still haven't officially O'd yet so I'm sure that pressure won't dissipate until after I O, but that's only because the feeling of pressure turns into hope and longing.
My mental health is in serious need of TTC. And Fun.
Maybe that's why I don't feel bad for going banananananas this weekend at the tailgate party I went to. I needed fun and most importantly DISTRACTIONS. The day was exciting and playful. A complete 180 from where I sit right now at my desk job where I'm essentially just thinking about my body and analyzing my symptoms and hoping/praying that I feel the good pains that alert me that my body is doing something right!
I appreciate any baby dust/FX's/whatever vibes you can send my way to make this time the time I get pregnant with my take home baby!
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