I checked facebook yesterday morning and was hit with a really hard reality. The only kid I ever babysat for(We'll call him F) is a senior in high school and we're facebook friends. His post was all about how he lost a friend on Friday. I can only assume the worst case scenario in this instance... I called my mom is in regular contact with F's mom... Turns out F saw a cryptic facebook status that mentioned something casually about YOLO (You Only Live Once) but really dark at the same time.
F went to the kids house to check on him in the next town over. It turns out that this boy who was only 19 years old took his life...
Ughhhhh I am hit so hard with this pain for someone I didn't even know.
What scares me about being a parent is how much I can influence somoene's life... maybe I could screw it all up... I can only imagine the pain and guilt of the parents of this boy. I can't imagine what they're thinking. What is it that drives kids to thinking that they need to end their lives? And my heart just goes out to their parents. I can't even imagine the pain.
Loss comes in a wide variety. The hardest loss of all is the loss of a child. I'm sorry to make this such a downer post, but I just wanted to share the below message I got from a Compassionate Friends (loss) newsletter last month.
Last year I attended a workshop presented by a specialist in grief named Dr. Cable. Dr Cable said many important things about the grief process, but as a bereaved parent one thing stuck in my mind. He said that if you ask a bereaved person to describe his deceased mother, he will say, “Oh, she was
so sweet. She always wore flowered dresses and loved to bake cookies.” But, if you ask a bereaved parent to describe her deceased child, she will say, “Oh, he would be five this year and just starting kindergarten,” or, “She would be twenty-two this year and graduating from college.” You see, we bereaved parents grieve the lost potential of our children. Our children don’t stop growing in our minds. We grieve again and anew each year as our child would have been a different age.
so sweet. She always wore flowered dresses and loved to bake cookies.” But, if you ask a bereaved parent to describe her deceased child, she will say, “Oh, he would be five this year and just starting kindergarten,” or, “She would be twenty-two this year and graduating from college.” You see, we bereaved parents grieve the lost potential of our children. Our children don’t stop growing in our minds. We grieve again and anew each year as our child would have been a different age.
~ by Chris Anderson – TCF Walla Walla, WA
Thank you all for reading today! I'm sorry it's such a dark post...
I found your blog through ICLW; I forgot to sign up for it this month.
ReplyDeleteLosing a child, yes even a teen, is so scary. Nothing in life prepares us for a loss at any stage of the life cycle.
It is always sad when a person dies, but yes, the pain of a parent is unmatched.
ReplyDeleteHere from ICLW - lost potential really is something that parents grieve over. Infertility is so much about lost hopes and dreams. I really connected with that xox
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