Oh yeah - THAT happened

So this weekend I came face to face with a smug.pregnant.woman.

Yeah.

The Situation: I was BEGGED to attend this Mary Kay party by a coworker who only had a few people who were schedule to attend. I made the best of it as far as I was concerned. There was going to be wine and cheese at this party and even though I didn't plan on drinking I was like - "Hey, I like cheese!" and went anyways. I figured I'd buy some mascara and see if I could find some foundation that covered my stupid breakouts.

I'm a genuine Pizza Face

I get to this party on Saturday at around 4:00ish and the hostess says "oh yeah, so-n-so was planning on cancelling this party because she didn't want to drive 20 minutes because her cell phone was broken - apparently pregnant women can't drive without a working phone."

*insert sound of glass shattering here*

"She's pregnant?" I thought! I initially was mostly appalled by the fact that the coworker didn't really mention this to me beforehand. I'm not blaming her though because people that haven't had a loss don't understand why it's difficult to be around pregnant women. I started to panic, I immediately stare at my phone and start feeling that gut rot where you know you're about to be in an incredibly difficult situation and you don't see any way to get out of it.


 I texted 2 people. The first was another coworker.

GTFO ASAP - I lerve acronymzzzzzz

Then I texted The Buggy's List's author and my partner in crime. She immediately called me with an "emergency phone call."

I'd like to thank the academy for the following performance:

Me: Hey how are you doing?
The Buggy List (TBL): I'm calling you with an emergency.
Me: Wait what!? Are you ok?
TBL: Yeah but this is an emergency you should probably leave wherever you're at.
Me: Oh my gosh - where are you??
TBL:  I'm in Jersey
Me: Oh, yeah it's no problem, I'll be right there.

Me to group of ladies at Mary Kay party. My friend was just sideswiped on the interstate, I'm going to go pick her up.
Them: Oh yeah please, go take care of that!

Side note: More reasons why she was smug (other than being too pregnant to drive without a phone):

• She didn't introduce herself to me when she came in... 15 minutes late! Ummm hello, you're the salesperson right? Shouldn't that be #1 thing to do?!
• She brought her 3 year old and her husband to what, I was promised, would be a fun time with girls who would be sipping wine and putting on makeup.

Pregnant Women are Smug, by Garfunkel and Oates

Watch now, thank me later.

I bolted and was free from the reign of the smug pregnant woman!